27 April 2006

Songbirds Learn Grammar, Surprising Linguists

WASHINGTON (April 26) - Grade-school grammar students should put away their excuses. Scientists say even a bird brain can grasp one of grammar's early concepts.

Researchers trained starlings to differentiate between a regular birdsong "sentence" and one that was embedded with a warbled clause, according to research in Thursday's issue of the journal Nature.

This "recursive grammar" is what linguists have long believed separated man from beast.

It took University of California at San Diego psychology researcher Tim Gentner a month and about 15,000 training attempts, with food as a reward, to get the birds to recognize this grammatical structure in their own bird language. What they learned may shake up the field of linguistics.

While many animals can roar, sing, grunt or otherwise make noise, linguists have contended for years that the key to distinguishing language skills goes back to our elementary school teachers and basic grammar. Recursive grammar - inserting an explanatory clause like this one into a sentence - is something that humans can recognize, but not animals, researchers figured.

Two years ago, a top research team tried to get tamarin monkeys to recognize such phrasing, but they failed. It was seen as upholding famed linguist Noam Chomsky's theory that recursive grammar is uniquely human and key to the facility to acquire language.

But after training, nine out of Gentner's 11 songbirds picked out the birdsong with inserted warbling or rattling bird phrases about 90 percent of the time. Two continued to flunk grammar.

"We were dumbfounded that they could do as well as they did," Gentner said. "It's clear that they can do it."

Gentner trained the birds using three buttons hanging from the wall. When the bird pecked the button it would play different versions of birdsongs that Gentner generated, some with inserted clauses and some without. If the song followed a certain pattern, birds were supposed to hit the button again with their beaks; if it followed a different pattern they were supposed to do nothing. If the birds recognized the correct pattern, they were rewarded with food.

Gentner said he was so unprepared for the starlings' successful learning that he hadn't bothered to record the songs the starlings sang in response.

"They might have been singing them back," Gentner said.

To put the trained starlings' grammar skills in perspective, Gentner said they don't match up to either of his sons, ages 2 and 9 months.

What the experiment shows is that language and animal cognition is a lot more complicated than scientists once thought and that there is no "single magic bullet" that separates man from beast, said Jeffrey Elman, a professor of cognitive science at UCSD, who was not part of the Gentner research team.

Marc Hauser, director of Harvard University's Cognitive Evolution Laboratory, who conducted the tamarin monkey experiment said Gentner's study was important and exciting, showing that "some of the cognitive sources that we deploy may be shared with other animals."

But Hauser said it still doesn't quite disprove a key paper he wrote in 2002 with Chomsky. The starlings are grasping a basic grammar, but not the necessary semantics to have the language ability that he and Chomsky wrote about.

Hauser said Gentner's study showed him he should have tried to train his monkeys instead of just letting them try to recognize recursive grammar instinctively. But starlings may be more apt vocalizers and have a better grasp of language than non-human primates. Monkeys may be trapped like Franz Kafka's Gregor Samsa, a man metamorphosized into a bug and unable to communicate with the outside world, Hauser suggested.

23 April 2006

Creamsicle: Cunnilingus Master

Creamsicle: Cunnilingus Master: "God, I love eating pussy.

Seriously.

I love the way it tastes, the way it feels, the way it smells.

I love using my long fingers to reach within the walls of the woman before me. I love using my left hand upside down and massaging the Grafenberg Spot. I love the word 'Grafenberg'. I like that it sounds like my last name. I like the fact that my medical knowledge tells me that the 'G' spot is actually called the paraurethral sponge. I like the letter G. It reminds me of Grover. I like the word sponge. It reminds me of nurses. I like to stick my tongue in. I have a long tongue. But longer fingers. I use them all. And I always slide a finger into the ass. Or a thumb. I love to taste the flood of come that eventually ensues. I love the way the muffled cries of my lover sound as they hit my ears through the legs that are wrapped around my head."

Creamsicle: Cunnilingus Master

Creamsicle: Cunnilingus Master: "God, I love eating pussy.

Seriously.

I love the way it tastes, the way it feels, the way it smells.

I love using my long fingers to reach within the walls of the woman before me. I love using my left hand upside down and massaging the Grafenberg Spot. I love the word 'Grafenberg'. I like that it sounds like my last name. I like the fact that my medical knowledge tells me that the 'G' spot is actually called the paraurethral sponge. I like the letter G. It reminds me of Grover. I like the word sponge. It reminds me of nurses. I like to stick my tongue in. I have a long tongue. But longer fingers. I use them all. And I always slide a finger into the ass. Or a thumb. I love to taste the flood of come that eventually ensues. I love the way the muffled cries of my lover sound as they hit my ears through the legs that are wrapped around my head."

Tara Dharma ... Out of the Lotus: More Photoshop F - U - N

Tara Dharma ... Out of the Lotus: More Photoshop F - U - N: "When Rexroth's Daughter and I worked together, she started playing around with Photoshop. 'Cool,' says I. But that was the extent of it. I was privy to her excited descriptions for months. We'd sit on the wall overlooking the great meadow, chomping on our bag lunches while she extolled the virtues of this amazing new photo program."

14 April 2006

T-Thongs are fun


Tom Cruise

In the upcoming issue of GQ, Tom Cruise discusses how great his sex life is, saying:

"Sex is about the connection. Great sex is a by-product, for me, of a great relationship, where you have communication and it's an extension of that. Where it's just free. And that's how it should be. It's spectacular. If you're not in good communication with your partner, it sucks. (Meaningless sex outside of a relationship) is really horrible and pathetic and lonely."

It's about time Tom Cruise gave us advice on how to have great sex. All these years I've been wondering how he does it, and now the secret is finally revealed: enslavement! No wait, what'd he say? Communication? But that doesn't make any sense. How do you communicate with somebody you've enslaved? A whip?

12 April 2006

The real Don Corleone gets arrested

The Don from Corleone was arrested April 11th, 2006. Bernardo Provenzano, born January 31, 1933, is a member of the Sicilian Mafia and is suspected of being the head of the Corleonesi, a Mafia Family from the village of Corleone, and de facto capo di tutti capi (Boss of Bosses) of the entire Sicilian Mafia.

He was captured by police in a farmhouse near the village of Corleone on April 11, 2006 after 43 years of evasion. He did not resist arrest.

His nickname is Binnu u tratturi (Sicilian for "Bennie the tractor") because, in the words of one informant, 'he mows people down'. This was due to his sweeping assassinations in the 1960's as he rose to power. Another nickname is The Accountant due to his apparently subtle and low-key approach to running his crime empire, at least in contrast to some of his more violent predecessors.

On January 25, 2005, police raided various homes in Sicily and arrested forty-six Mafia suspects believed to be helping Provenzano elude the authorities. Although they did not catch the elusive Mafia boss himself, investigators nonetheless unearthed evidence that 72-year-old Provenzano was still very much alive and in control of the Mafia, in the form of his cryptic handwritten notes, his preferred method of giving orders to his men. Two months later another raid, which netted over eighty Mafiosi took place, although yet again Provenzano was not amongst those captured.

However, Mafia informers said Provenzano moved between farmhouses in the region every two or three nights to evade capture. Tracing him was difficult because the authorities did not have an up-to-date photograph with which to identify him. The nearest likeness in their possesssion was a computer-generated image that attempted to predicted the effects of ageing on a photograph of Provenzano as a younger man. However, they were able to pinpoint Provezano's exact location by the simplest of connections, to a delivery of clean laundry at a farmhouse.

Provenzano was finally captured today, April 11, 2006 by the Italian police near his home town, Corleone. A spokesman for the Palermo police, Agent Daniele Macaluso, said Provenzano had been arrested during the morning near Coreleone, 37 miles south of Palermo and was being driven back to the Sicilian capital.